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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27653618">Aperature</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/noeltbh/pseuds/noeltbh'>noeltbh</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, M/M, i refuse to use actualy tags i will just write whatever i want &lt;3, man idk touriku party time, riku got a lot of interanlized homophobia to work thru ;(, sougo give riku nice lil advice hell yeah, they play never have i ever thats fun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:56:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,506</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27653618</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/noeltbh/pseuds/noeltbh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Riku never had to think about these kinds of things.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Inumaru Touma/Nanase Riku, Momo/Yuki (IDOLiSH7) (Background), Ousaka Sougo/Tsunashi Ryuunosuke (Background)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. prelude.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>HI um um um this is my first i7 fic, ao3 fic, AND first time ive shared my work online so im rlly nervous ahh and also this isn't beta'd by someone who is not me sweats BUT!! i hope u guys enjoy!!</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>HI SO i know riku says/thinks some iffy stuff at the beginning but i promise he's not homophobic or anything of the sort! i headcanon him as bi with a lot of internalized homophobia, so he has a really hard time coming to terms with it. a lot of this was drawn through my own experience of realizing i wasnt straight back in middle school, haha. ALSO RIKU I AM SO SORRY TO PUT U THRU THIS I KNOW IT SUCKS I LOVE U</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lives would leave your body heavy, but in the best sort of way. An overwhelming amount of emotion, coupled with exhaustion. They were everything.</p><p>On the van ride home, Riku usually fell asleep on someone’s shoulder. Today, it was Tamaki’s. He’d gestured excitedly to the other members, bragging under his breath about how still he could stay. Sougo, next to him, was smiling in content, his lips spreading effortlessly into a show of comfort.</p><p>Iori would sit ramrod straight and try to play it cool, but his pupils were dilated and it’d be obvious he was holding back an exhilarated grin. Yamato, in his roundabout way, always made sure to check on everyone. He’d sit next to Tsumugi, passing back a water bottle to someone once in a while. Despite trying to act nonchalant, his foot would tap quietly in beat, adrenaline still yet to fully leave his body.</p><p>Mitsuki always took the longest to cool down afterwards. His breathing would still be a bit heavy, and he’d be fiddling with his hands or bouncing his thighs. Nagi would occasionally, like today, hold Mitsuki’s hands in his own to calm him down. Usually, the other boy liked to hum songs under his breath, but switched to mouthing lyrics whenever Riku knocked out.</p><p>Tsumugi, as always, would be overflowing with joy. She’d stare at the road so hard it sometimes went blurry; everyone had seen the boy’s charm that she’d wanted to share so badly. There was nothing more she could ask for.</p><p>There was nothing that would replace that feeling.</p><p>***</p><p>The car rolls to a stop, stirring everyone out of their dream-like haze. Tsumugi and Yamato get out first; aside from being in the front seat, they both feel it’s their duty to help herd the other members inside. After everyone’s coaxed out of the car, Iori takes it upon himself to wake Riku up. It’s not that it was late or anything, the sky was a pale blue. In fact, it was only around 2:00 pm. But Riku’s body always needed more rest, in juxtaposition with the rest of the group members.</p><p>Iori crouches down, and whispers, “Nanase-san.” Nothing. He gives it another shot. Still nothing. Sometimes, he forgets how deep of a sleeper Nanase-san can be. But, he said it was fine to touch him to wake him up if needed, so…</p><p> </p><p>Iori timidly reaches a hand out. He feels bad for having to wake him, but it can’t be helped.<br/>
“Nanase-san…” He tries, this time shaking slightly at the other’s shoulder. Riku’s eyes flit open, then squeeze back shut again.</p><p>“Mmm….’ts so sunny…” he slurs. Then, he notices that he’s not alone. “Oh, Iori! Good job at the live today!! I guess I, uh, fell asleep again, hehe…” He smiles, and it’s so bright that Iori has to clamp his mouth shut to keep from making a remark about how cute it is.</p><p>“Morning, Nanase-san. You did amazing as well. Thank you for leading us today.” Riku looks away and chews on his lip. With his abilities, you’d think he’d be used to compliments. But he’s still surprised by every single one, even after 3 years in the industry.</p><p>“Thanks Iori, um…”</p><p>“You should probably go get ready.” Iori chides.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Yknow, the party! You didn't forget, did you…?” Riku squirms as Iori stares him down.</p><p>“Oh, uh, of course not! Haha, um...I’m gonna go shower now!” Riku begins speed walking from the car, picking up to a light jog when he thinks Iori’s not looking anymore. (He is.)</p><p>The dorms had a shared shower room that everyone usually used after events. There was a private one near the bath, of course, but they usually stuck with the communal one due to time constraints. Riku walks into the little front room, hanging his clothes on a hook and wrapping a towel around his waist. The showers could only fit four people, so he knocks to make sure there’s space open.</p><p>He was met with a call of, “You’re good!”, from Yamato. Steam floods his senses as he tip-toes onto the slippery floor, water droplets sliding down the walls.</p><p>“Yeah, I totally think he--Hey, Riku! Morning!” Mitsuki calls over the static of water hitting the ground.Yamato is standing next to him, and Tamaki is on the other side of the room. He’s leaning into the water, almost like a cat pressing against a hand that’s petting it. That means Iori and Nagi are waiting to shower. Maybe fitting a nap in? And Sougo usually isn’t comfortable with showing his body, so he’s probably using the shower by the bath right now.</p><p>Riku slides into the spot next to Tamaki, and begins to fiddle with the water temperature.</p><p>“Hey, Rikkun. You okay?” He’s totally fine and they both probably know it, but Tamaki always likes extra verbal confirmation. Understandably so, especially when it comes to Riku.</p><p>“Mhm! Just sweaty.” He laughs, then spaces out as he ducks his hair under the stream. The others pick up their conversation from before.</p><p>“Yeah, so I think it’s totally how it looks…”</p><p>Mitsuki nods sagely. “I mean, yeah, it’s very possible, but like...I dunno! Those two are so hard to read. Like, the other day, he was talking about how sweet Sou is, but in a way that sounded...different to me than admiration.”</p><p>“Mhm, mhm.”</p><p>Tamaki chimes in. “Yama-san...I don’t know much about these types of things...but will Socchan still hang out with me even if he starts dating Ryuu-aniki?”</p><p>…..Huh?</p><p>“What about Sogou and Ryuu…?” He forces out.</p><p>“Oh, Riku! What do you think?” Yamato asks. “Doesn’t it totally seem like Sou and Ryuu have a thing for each other?”</p><p>Riku smiles nervously. He focuses on scrubbing the same spot on his arm, over and over.<br/>
“Ah, but they’re, um….both….guys?”</p><p>Mitsuki looks at him weirdly. “Uh, yeah? Sougo’s gay, I thought he’d mentioned it to everyone….”Then his expression sours. “Why? Is there a problem?”</p><p>“No!” Riku chokes out. “No no no, um, I just, where I, um… S-Sorry, my family has never been good about that kind of thing, so I guess I’m kinda, not, super used to it….It’s more than fine though! I’ll support Sogou- no matter what!”</p><p>Mitsuki leans over and musses up his hair. “Good. That’s all that matters to me. If you have any questions, feel free to ask! I’m more than happy to help.”</p><p>***</p><p>Riku flops onto his bed. His white, uncaring ceiling stares back at him. One of his friends likes boys? Sogou does? And...he likes Ryuu? That’s allowed?? He didn’t...his parents always told him it wasn’t a normal thing. He just can’t really wrap his brain around it. Augh, why is he being so weird about this!! Sougo’s still his friend, same as always!!!</p><p>Riku stands back up to violently towel dry his hair. Why can’t he just be a good friend? This shouldn’t be such a big deal! But he can’t stop thinking about it. Whatever.</p><p>He decides to put the TV on, trying to let it be the only thing occupying his brain.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. motif.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ok hi heres the second chap i just wanted to split them up bc i thought it looked better that way woooo</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The dorm fills with idle chatter that only grows louder and louder. Loud enough to wake Riku up, and-- oh shit. He fell asleep again? Seriously? He mentally scolds his body, but doesn’t linger on it. Everyone’s here already, so he fixes his bed head and walks out.</p><p>Everyone really is here, Riku thinks. Re:Vale had taken over the couch, simultaneously harassing Idolish7’s younger members. Gaku and Yamato were talking over drinks, while Mitsuki looked like he was about to join them. Tenn-nii was….doing whatever Tenn-nii does. He and Riku were on slightly better terms now (Riku hoped), but things still felt awkward. And then, Sougo and Ryuu were together on the bean bags they’d dragged out from Tamaki and Riku’s rooms. Oh. Yeah. Riku blushed, biting the inside of his cheek nervously. Why was he still so...augh. Anyway, it was--</p><p>
  <em>diing-dong</em>
</p><p>“OH! Someone’s at the door!” Nagi seizes the chance to get himself out of Momo and Yuki’s torture corner. “I’ll get it!”</p><p>“Hey.” Torao walks in, handing over a little box of snacks. It looks like chocolate covered nuts, something nice but still professional.</p><p>“Yeah, ZOOL’s here!!!!” Mitsuki shouts, possibly a little bit tipsy. That is how these parties usually go, with the kids and manager acting as babysitters to the older partygoers. But still, the adults always watched over their younger members, so it was okay for them to be carefree like this sometimes.</p><p>“Harucchi. Come here, NOW!!” Tamaki looks almost trapped between pillows.</p><p>“Oh, really Tamaki? You’re sure you don’t know any embarrassing stuff about the other members?” Yuki grins down at him and Momo follows suit. They have another fluffy green pillow held up as a warning.</p><p>Haruka rolls his eyes. “Sorry. That idiot can’t handle himself on his own, I gotta go.”</p><p>The room buzzes with even more excitement at ZOOL’s entrance. Things are still… a bit awkward between them and the other groups. But everyone’s slowly starting to warm up to it.</p><p>Bright fluorescent lights draw attention to a small circle forming in the middle. It’s composed of Yamato, two-thirds of Trigger, and a majority of ZOOL. Haruka’s been...borrowed by their seniors. He’s applying clips to Tamaki’s hair as Momo fishes around his bag for more. Iori, for whatever reason, has lip gloss on. He does not look happy about it. (But then again, he’s not so great about expressing when he likes something and when he doesn’t, so who knows.)</p><p>Sougo, Ryuu, Mitsuki and Nagi are off mixing drinks. Well, not that Nagi’s allowed to have any. He just comes along to slide his elbows onto the table and try to give tips, bragging about his so-called “bartending skills.”</p><p>Bits of conversation begin to spread throughout whatever misformed shape everyone else has fallen into. The words mingle around the room, blending into a uniform sound.</p><p>“Nanase, listen, Tenn had to have done something stupid when he was little, right?”<br/>
Riku shakes his head sincerely.</p><p>“Nope!! Tenn-nii was--” He’s smothered into silence by someone's palm. Tenn glares at Gaku while Riku tries to get his words out over his brother’s barricade.</p><p>“Gaku. For the millionth time, leave my life, and my little brother---MH?!” Tenn yanks his hand away and everyone looks up; Triggers’ Kujo Tenn was the last person they expected to hear some sort of...squeaking noise from.</p><p>“RIKU!,” Tenn whips his head over incredulously, “did you just <em>lick</em> my hand??”</p><p>“....N-no,” he says, but his defense is already liquefying into giggles.</p><p>Touma is muffling laughter into his fist with him, Yamato just looks pleased. Torao and Minami are frozen, like they’re not used to seeing people, well, as close with each other like this.</p><p>“Riku, that’s gross!!” Tenn scolds, but everyone can tell he’s not actually mad.</p><p>“Well, you shouldn't've had your hand right there!!”</p><p>Yamato takes a long sip of beer, and decides to take advantage of everyone being drawn to the commotion.</p><p><em>“HEY!”</em> He yells, using his “leader voice”. The room’s volume dwindles to a low murmur.<br/>
“We’re all gonna play Never Have I Ever. Got it? If you wanna play, come be in the circle. If you don’t, then too bad, you're playing.”</p><p>Suddenly, Yuki becomes very interested in what's going on outside the “Re:Vale Salon”.<br/>
“Hmm? The old man had a good idea, for once?”</p><p>A responding growl of, “You’re older than me, dipshit!” is drowned out by Momo ushering everybody towards the middle room. At this point, when Haruka sits down, he’s got a (surprisingly neat) winged eyeliner job to show off. Touma wonders who here even knew how to do that, but, whatever. It looked good on him. Tamaki had his hair up in pigtails and covered clips, but was seemingly ecstatic about it. Iori’s lips were no longer glossed. He still had some stickers scattered on his cheeks though. If anyone asked they'd be met with vehement denial, but from the shine in his eyes, it seemed that he liked them more than he let on.</p><p>Mitsuki, Nagi, Sougo, and Ryuu return with drinks in tow. Nagi had managed to whip up...something, and was enthralled to have everyone try it. Mitsuki helps pass out cheap plastic cups to those who can drink.</p><p>“Oh, huh..,” Gaku remarks, “This is actually pretty good!”</p><p>“Wait, really? Lemme try!” Momo sticks his hands out for his cup. The liquid is a reddish pink, matching well with the bright red solo cup. It doesn’t look too suspicious, but it is fizzing, for some reason.</p><p>“OH! Wait wait, I like this!!” He exclaims.. “Nagi, what’s in it?”</p><p>Nagi looks incredibly smug from the other side of the room. “A magician never reveals his secrets~.”</p><p>“Sprite, Hawaiian Punch, pineapple juice, and vodka.” Mitskui interjects. Nagi whips around and begins yelling something about “MITSUKIIII”, and “How could you BETRAY your prince like that!!”</p><p>“Wait, that sounds like…” Tamaki starts.</p><p>“Seriously? You guys are just drinking spiked elementary school fruit punch?” As the group’s self proclaimed “alcohol connoisseur”, Yamato did not seem too happy.</p><p>“....But, it’s good…” Torao mumbles, his lips still around the cup’s rim.</p><p>“Yeah dude, give Nagi a break.” Mitsuki has finally gotten Nagi to stop clinging to him, and they’ve joined the circle.</p><p>The only other person who seems to not be drinking it is Yuki. Touma seems fine with it, and Mitsuki probably taste-tested it before the drink was released to the public. Ryuu’s sharing a cup with Sougo who refuses to drink because he doesn't want to be trouble, but Ryuu assures him that's not the case.</p><p>“It’s too sweet for me,” Yuki comments, then stares mischievously at Yamato. “Looks like we have similar tastes, huh?” He’s met with a piercing glare in return.</p><p>“Haah...Anyway, back to the game. Everyone into the circle.”</p><p>Riku looks down at his lap. He does...not know what “Never Have I Ever Is.” Iori seems like he wants to say something too, but doesn’t.</p><p>“Yama-saaaaaan.” Tamaki raises a hand up. “How do you play?”</p><p>“Oh, you haven’t played? Here, let’s uh…..Raise your hand if you don’t know the rules.”</p><p>All of the high schoolers’ hands fly up. Riku, Sougo, Nagi, and Ryuu follow suit.</p><p>“Jeez…” Yamato is then overshadowed by Momo, who springs up with more energy than is probably normal.</p><p>“My juniors seriously haven’t played enough party games! I think Momo should be the one to explain~” He holds up a hand, waving it around.</p><p>“‘Kay, so! Basically you have 10 fingers, or “lives”. Everyone has to go around and say something they haven’t done, but something they think other people have done, so you can get them out! You have to put down a finger when you’ve done something someone else says!! Last person standing wins!”</p><p>Momo looks around the room devilishly. “But, if you’re an adult, you gotta drink every time you put a finger down too.” Yuki cheers at his boyfriend's performance, and Sougo hangs his head, knowing he’s going to end up embarrassing himself.</p><p>“I’VE NEVER BEEN 18!” Tamaki calls from across the room, proud of himself for coming up with a good one right off the bat.</p><p>“Tamaki, that’s not how it… Here, you have to say something that isn’t a characteristic of someone, or else that’s not fair. I’ll start.” Mitsuki looks up for a moment in thought, then puts his hand up.</p><p>“Alright, everyone! Never have I ever...cut my own hair!”<br/>
Everybody glances around the room as Tamaki, Gaku, and Re:Vale put down a finger, while Riku fiddles with his to push his down.</p><p>Momo’s hand shoots up. “Mitsuki! Does it count if it's someone else? Darling and I used to cut each other's hair.” Someone murmurs, “yeah, probably”, so they both pick up their cups. </p><p>“Hmn, Gaku? When did you do that?” Ryuu seems surprised.</p><p>“Agh, it’s stupid...When I was a kid, I got in a fight with my old man and did it to spite him.” Gaku takes a sip of his drink. Everyone begins to picture a cute, grade school Gaku looking his father in the eyes with a pair of safety scissors. “How about you, Nanase?”</p><p>The focus of the room swings to Riku, and he turns away. “Oh, uh, same here! I did it when I was a little kid.” Tenn gives him a suspicious look. He knows Tenn doesn’t remember that happening, because he wasn’t there. Riku had chopped off the longer side of his bangs in an effort to look less like him. But, now wasn’t really the time to discuss that.</p><p>Everybody decided it would be easiest to go in number order, so it was Tamaki’s turn next.<br/>
“Ah, by the way, I used to cut mine and Aya’s hair all the time! If anyone ever needs a haircut…” He stares down at his fingers, trying to think of a question.</p><p>“OH! I got it!” Tamaki smiles smugly and announces, with no embarrassment:“Never have I ever had sex!”</p><p>Immediately, overlapping cries of “Tamaki!” and “Yotsuba-san!!!” attempt to shut that idea down.</p><p>“Tamaki!” Sougo scolds. “You can’t ask those kinds of things!” The entire atmosphere is filled with a nervous excitement. Nobody was really expecting this one, not from Tamaki at the very least.”</p><p>“I mean yeah, but...aren’t these kinda games supposed to be dramatic like that? Also, it’s not a characteristic and I haven’t done it…”</p><p>Mitsuki sighs because he knows he's not wrong. “Yeah, it fits the rules...Tamaki, Iori, and Haruka are gonna be 18 pretty soon… Alright, well. As long as no ones uncomfortable with it! No one will be mad if that's the case, by the way!” Most people give a half thumbs up, or nod.</p><p>“Cool, okay. You may ONLY put your finger down. NO questions and NO comments.” Mitsuki stares everyone down. “Save it for later, seriously.”</p><p>“Don’t worry,” Yamato assures, “We know stuff like that, c’mon. I know the older members joke around a lot, but wouldn’t start saying stuff around the younger members.”</p><p>“Yeah, I know! Just covering all my bases.” Mitsuki breathes in. “Alright, fingers down in 3...2….1”</p><p>Yamato, Mitsuki, Sougo, Tenn, and Torao, and Re:Vale all put down their fingers.</p><p>Riku’s eyes are blown wide open, and Iori looks like he is two seconds from fucking pissing himself. Tenn looks like he, more than ANYTHING, wants to comment on Gaku’s unchanged hand position.</p><p>“ALRIGHT everybody we are done with that one now!” Nagi quickly provides crowd control. “Kujo-shi, please wipe that expression off your face.”</p><p>Tenn snickers and turns his attention to Sougo, who’s to the right of Tamaki.</p><p>Sougo is, at the moment, taking what looks to be like much more than the required one drink.<br/>
“You guys are all too much…” He pants. “Let’s see, ah...never have I ever...broken a bone.”</p><p>This time, Nagi, Gaku, Mitsuki, and Momo, all have to lose a point.<br/>
“I was a soccer kid.” Momo explains over a long swig of his punch.</p><p>‘Waah…” Yuki exclaims, slightly laced with some of his trademark sarcasm. “You only have two left….Everyone, go easy on my Momo!”</p><p>“Alright everyone, let's try to get Re:Vale out first---Juuuust kidding!” Ryuu falls into laughter, leaning on Sougo’s shoulder. He hasn’t even had to put a finger down yet, he just keeps taking little sips of his drink.</p><p>“Glad you like my drink so much so much, Tsunashi-shi.” Ryuu responds by cheering back at Nagi.</p><p>“OH! It’s my turn! Hm...Never have I ever….put up a carp flag!”</p><p>“Nagi, that one’s not fair!! We literally live in Japan.”</p><p>“Nah, I haven't done one.” Tamaki counters. Both Haruka and Minami chime in too, saying they haven’t done it before either.</p><p>“Well, I guess it counts. Everyone except those three, fingers down!” Mitsuki tips his drink a little further back.</p><p>It’s Riku’s turn now. “Uh…..never have I ever, um…..” He pauses. Taps the side of his head. Pauses again. “I dunno!!! I don’t know any good ones.”</p><p>Minami raises his hand. “I think I have a good one, is it alright if I go?”</p><p>“Yeah, that should be fine.” Yamato nods. “Riku? Alright with you?”</p><p>Minami muffles an out of character laugh into the back of his hand. “Never have I ever,” his eyes crinkle into a devilish smile, “had a crush on someone in this building.”</p><p>Gaku puts down his fourth finger, opting to have his middle finger be the remaining and flipping off Minami. Momo and Yuki make a big show of wondering, hmm, did they ever have a crush on someone in the building? Sougo and Ryuu both lose a finger; Mituski, Riku, Tenn, and Haruka all follow.</p><p>“Wow, the blooming romance of youth.” Yamato teases.</p><p>“...Nikaido, a good chunk of them are older than you…” Iori reasons.</p><p>Minami nudges Touma, who’s glowering at Minami with an alarming intensity. He stubbornly puts a finger down, then chugs his entire drink.</p><p>Woah… Riku knew he maybe had a crush on Manager, but...So many other people also had someone. Ryuu and Sougo, and Momo and Yuki, were obvious. But the others piqued his curiosity, who could it be? He decided he would play detective later.</p><p>The game kept going till a good half of people were out, then everyone got bored. Smaller groups formed again, and most of those able to be were fairly drunk. Tenn and Riku were able to have a polite and awkward conversation, Torao and Nagi got into a heated talk about their favorite shows, and Haruka, Tamaki, and Iori were all arguing about something. Touma had rapidly dragged Minami into the bathroom, for some reason.</p><p>“Ah, Tenn-nii! I had something, I, uh, wanted to show you, if that's okay!” Tenn nods. “I’ll just grab it from my room!”</p><p>Riku jumps up, walking down the hallway to his room.</p><p>“Oh my god, you little shit! You did not need to do that!”</p><p>“True, but it’s not going to go anywhere if I don’t do anything.”</p><p>Someone’s having a conversation from the bathrooms. Sounds like Touma in Minami, Riku hopes they aren’t fighting…</p><p>Digging through his drawers, more bits of sentences float over to Riku.</p><p>“Oh my goddd, it’s just…...Augh…” That sounds like Touma.</p><p>Someone laughs, probably Minami. “It’s so funny that our edgy Touma can be this sweet.”</p><p>“I know, I know, fucking…! It’s not my fault he’s so cute.”</p><p>“I jus can’t believe that Zool’s leader is head over heels for Nanase Riku, their literal rival’s center.”</p><p>Riku looks up. Did he...just hear that right? Touma…..? He buries his face into his hands, both blushing and overwhelmed with anxiety. He wishes he heard wrong. Touma likes him. Touma Inumaru likes <em>him!?! </em></p><p>What was even worse, though, is that the thought made Riku warm with butterflies. Touma was really sweet, he was really nice, and he loved spending time with him. He felt at ease around him. If Touma ….asked him out or, whatever, something like that….he wasn’t sure he’d immediately say no. Holy shit. Holy shit.</p><p>Riku curled up on his bed, eyes becoming wet. He wasn’t sure what to think, this was all so confusing... He sent a quick text to Yamato that he was retiring for the night, and grabbed a melatonin off his nightstand to ease him to sleep faster.<br/>
He didn’t want to have to face this.</p><p> </p><p>At least not now.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>so!! the carp flags are referring to children’s day!! it’s a traditional holiday in japan celebrating young boys! one of the activities involves flying carp shaped flags with ur fam ^__^</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. countermelody.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sougo and Riku  have a much needed talk.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>SORRY FOR THE RABBITCHAT FORMATTING I JUSRT PANICKED FOR LIKE 15 MINUTES OVER IT AFTER PUBLISHING LOL that was as good as i could get </p><p>HI im back at it again!!!!!! falls over uhhh i apologize this hasn’t been beta’ed by anyone except me again ;; </p><p>fun fact 7th grade me also thought that wanting to kiss ur friends was just a normal part of friendship *pats riku</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Riku doesn’t wake up from the sun tearing its way through his blinds, he doesn’t wake up from the chatter of the dorms growing too loud, he doesn’t wake up from his phone alarm.</p><p>Instead, for whatever reason, his body decides to whip him awake at 7:28 am. Riku still feels weird. He still feels nervous. His red bean bag is looking awfully inviting right now, so he flops all his weight onto that. The cushion responds with a crunch from the filling rubbing together.</p><p>Man. He doesn’t even wanna try to comprehend whatever yesterday was. The scariest part is, he’s not grossed out. He doesn’t know how he feels. And he doesn’t know how to handle it. Little chips begin to appear on his nails as he begins chewing on them to keep himself occupied.</p><p>His room feels really comforting today, though. The lamps are low and calming, and the glow in the dark stars on his ceiling still have a bit of light to give off. There’s posters of cats and Trigger and his other favorite things staring back at him when he zones out at the wall. His room stays the same. Nothing new or surprising. It’s nice. He wishes he could hole up here all day.</p><p>God...Riku things to himself. I’m being a huge baby over all of this. He decides now's a good time to get his ass up, maybe have a hot drink. Those always seem to clear his head.</p><p>As he pads over to the kitchen, walking straight towards the cabinet where everyone kept their mugs, he realizes he isn’t alone.</p><p>“Ah! Goodmorning, Riku-kun!”</p><p>Riku chokes on his breath. It’s Sougo. Maybe he....mmm.</p><p>“G-Goodmorning!” He says stiffly.</p><p>“How’re you feeling today? I know the party last night was a lot.”</p><p>Riku doesn’t answer, just stares straight ahead. Everything freezes up, minus the steam rising from Sougo’s mug. He stares a little longer, trying to gather up courage.</p><p>“Ri—“</p><p>“UM..., I, Sougo, I was wondering ifIcouldmaybe talk to youaboutuhhh stuff I DON'T mean to be offensive if you don’t want to answer you don’t have to!! i’m sorry, uhm, but, uh, i was wondering if i could askyousomestuffabout.... y'know, um. boys.” Riku spits it out all in one breath, with such intensity that he needs to take a moment to compose himself afterwards.</p><p>Sougo blinks back at him. “Sorry, you what?”</p><p>Riku brings his fingers up to his mouth again, looking away as he starts to fidget.</p><p>“I, uh. Was wondering, if it’s, um, not offensive. If I could ask you some....,” a pause, “stuff about...........boys. Only if you want to though!!”</p><p>Sougo’s expression quickly goes from confused to warm and welcoming.<br/>“Mhm, you’re allowed. It’s not offensive, so don’t worry! I’m happy if I can help you learn more.”</p><p>Riku nods and decides now is a good time to finish making his drink, so he’ll have something to rely on when he needs a break to find the right words. He shoves out of his chair, startling the man across from him, and makes a beeline for the microwave.</p><p>The room soon fills with the comforting scent of milk and warm, melting honey. Riku knows he’s such a creature of habit, but he thought now was a better time than ever to indulge in one of his comfort foods.</p><p>Sougo stares at Riku expectantly over the wooden table. He’s sitting crossed legged and Riku in a sort of ball position, knees brought up to his chin. Another thick silence falls.</p><p>“What do you need help with, Riku-san?” Sougo breaks the quiet, but tension still lingers throughout the room.</p><p>He brings his hands up to the table and begins tracing the patterns in the wood.<br/>“I have,” a sip of milk, “this...friend. He, um, is straight. But then, a boy, yknow...liked him. And he didn’t think he’d immediately say no if he asked him out. But he doesn’t know how he feels, and, he’s confused and scared and...What advice should I give him?”</p><p>A gentle nod serves as a response. “Your friend seems like he’s struggling. I’m sure this must be new and strange for him, probably scary too.”</p><p>Riku dips his head slightly then buries his face back into his drink.</p><p>“I felt the same way, when I was figuring things out. Not that I liked girls beforehand, but still, coming to the realization was scary. People aren’t good about those things. It’s hard to discover a new piece of yourself that you didn’t know. I think your friend should take as much time as he needs to experiment and see what makes him happiest! He doesn’t have to rush finding a label, or even ever use one at all. It would probably be helpful for him to think for a few days on what he wants, maybe get a second opinion? Hopefully that’s helpful!”</p><p>Riku looks like he’s about to cry again. Sougo notices this, and his expression falls in realization. “Ahh...Riku-san...”</p><p>Suddenly Riku is enveloped in a warm hug, and it feels so nice and firm and reassuring that he really has to bite his lip to keep from being a crybaby and embarrassing himself.</p><p>“.....Touma. Touma likes me and I just don’t know what to do I don’t know how to feel I can’t even TELL what I’m feeling and I don’t know what I want and I...I...”<br/>Riku trails off, burrowing his face further into Sougo’s chest.</p><p>Sougo rubs his back. It feels so nice. It reminds him of how Tenn-nii used to care for him; As kids, Tenn would usually be right by his side when he was upset like this. He’s not sad thinking about the comparison anymore, though. This is different. That was then, this is now, and this is Sougo.</p><p>Riku pulls back and looks back up. “...Sorry.”</p><p>“Oh, it’s no trouble at all!” In all honesty, Sougo was happy that Riku felt comfortable enough to open up to him. Plus, he was glad that he could finally be helpful to someone in a situation like this. Usually, if anyone came to him for advice, he’d shut down and panic in fear of saying something bad. But Sougo had lived it, this time. So he wanted to ease Riku’s mind as much as possible…”</p><p>“Mm, Sougo….” Riku palms at his eyes, voice wavering. “Now what?”</p><p>“Well…” Riku sits back down, and his cup is placed into his hands. ‘Well, it’s up to you.” Sougo starts, and Riku looks like he's about to start panicking again. “Ah, wait just a second. I’ll help you organize your thoughts a bit more, kay?”</p><p>“Alright…” Riku nods. He’s still all tensed up though, like he’s trying to make himself smaller.</p><p>“What do you think of when I say Touma? Before all this, I mean.”</p><p>“Hmmm, I guess.. I dunno, it’s a bit harder now!! But maybe like, a good friend? Mmm...it’s not like we got to hang out lots, y’know, with everything going on...But when we did hang out I felt, um, pretty...at ease, I guess? If that makes sense. Like, uh, no one had to lead the conversation, and, um.. Yeah.”</p><p>“Mhm…” Sogou nods, prompting him to continue.</p><p>“And, like...ahhh!! This feels embarrassing, for some reason. Uh, I’d always feel nice after we hung out. I thought about checking up through text sometimes, but I didn’t think we were close enough, so I didn’t.”</p><p>“And now he likes you. Right? What are you thinking about that?”</p><p>“...I thought I would be grossed out, but I’m not for some reason. Like...I wouldn’t ask him out myself, but if he asked me out I might not say no… ghh. And then, if he wanted to hold my hand or….y’know…..ki, kiss me, or, uh,” Riku’s face starts flushing red, and he sets down his drink in favor of hiding his cheeks in his palms, “stuff like that. I maybe... wouldn’t say no. I don't know if I would say yes, though!! Just, it doesn't sound totally awful. Maybe.”</p><p>“That's alright not to know yet, Riku-kun. You can take all the time you need to decide what you’re comfortable with.” Riku bobs his head up and down. “Just make sure not to involve Touma too much till you’re ready, alright? I think he’d rather assume you don’t like him than have his hopes go up and down.” Sougo stands up from the chair, mugs clinking as he puts them in the sink to be washed. By now, it’s almost 8:00, meaning the high schoolers will be getting up soon. Mitsuki too, usually to make breakfast, and to prevent Sougo from doing it. Mitsuki loved Sougo, dearly, but holy shit did he not understand recipe measurements when it came to spice.</p><p>“Goodmorninh….” Iori mumbles, sitting himself down at the table next to Riku.</p><p>“Ehh, Iori, did you not sleep well? That’s so unlike you!” He teases as Iori leans into his palm to yawn. Riku yawns in response, then glares at him. “Stop doing that!!”</p><p>“Huh…?” Iori looks so confused. Sougo giggles and starts setting the table. “No, I would never do that. I just had a lot of homework. And I slept fine. I’m not tired.”</p><p>“Yeah, okay…” Mitsuki walks in, heading towards the stove. “Take a nap later, idiot.”</p><p>“Nii-san!!” Iori springs up, suddenly more awake. “Like I said, I’m not that tired. So don’t worry.”</p><p>“Uh-huh.” The stove top clicks to life. “I’m making you coffee. Anyone else want some?”</p><p>“Oh, yes please!” Riku raises his hand. He doesn’t want to admit it, but he was still pretty worn out from all the excitement.</p><p>“Kay. Want eggs?” Riku cheers in response, he loves whenever Mitsuki makes rolled egg. Sougo says he doesn’t need any, then gets up with intent to wake Tamaki up. That might take a while.</p><p>Riku lays his arms flat on the table, then lays his head on them. There’s so much to think about, today… Luckily, I don’t have a job ‘till afternoon, he thought. He let his thoughts drift away, focusing on the sound of boiling water. Maybe he’ll do something nice today, like take a bath, or get a new book. Yeah, that sounded good...just relax.</p><p>The lights were dimmed and the sound of the water was almost calming; Riku thought he might almost fall asleep.</p><p>“So, what were you and Sougo up so early talking about?” Riku startles, nearly knocking over the coffee cup Mitsuki had set down.</p><p>“Hmmh? You guys were talking?” Iori looked up.</p><p>“No!!! Um, I mean, nothing!! Nothing, ehe, um….We just both woke up early. And decided to chat. Yknow, just like, yeah. Nothing important!” Mitsuki eyes him suspiciously, but doesn’t say anything.</p><p>Riku stares down quietly at his coffee cup, paying attention to nothing else. He did notice, however, that the coffee was a pretty chestnut color. Probably how he liked it, with two shots of cream and sugar, because Mitsuki always remembered their preferences somehow. Riku’s not sure how he does it, but it always makes him feel warm.</p><p>“...Nii-san. My coffee is practically milk.” Iori was right, it looked more like a cup of caramel creamer than actual coffee.</p><p>“Mhm.” Mitsuki simply says.</p><p>“Well….I mean, I usually like my coffee closer to black, but. Since you made it...and I don’t wanna waste it, I guess I’ll have to drink it.” Two pairs of watch as he goes in for a sip without flinching, then takes another longer one. “It’s alright, I guess. It can’t be helped.” Mitsuki has to bite his lip to keep from laughing, and Riku looks the other direction.</p><p>Yamato decides it’s the perfect time to make his entrance. “Morniiiing… What’s so funny?”</p><p>“What do you m--” Iori starts, but Mitsuki interrupts him.</p><p>“Wow old man, someone’s up early!”</p><p>Yeah, I have an early job... “ He stares at the table. “Morning Riku, morning I- oh, heh. That’s why? Because Ichi--” He’s cut off by Mitsuki playfully tackling him, who whispers “Dont.” as he clings to the other’s back.</p><p>“Ow! Christ, it’s too early for this!” He’s complaining, but Yamato doesn’t truly mind as long as he gets to have Mituki’s cooking.</p><p>“That’s your fault for being old.” Riku almost laughs.</p><p>Iori watches in awe as they continue to banter, then gets up to help his brother plate breakfast.</p><p>“Yamato, go see if Nagi wants any.” Mitsuki sets down a plate in front of Riku. The eggs smell sweeter than usual, which is perfect. It’s accompanied by a little bowl of miso soup; It’s simple, but even little things like these can make his morning.</p><p>Riku eats his breakfast, maybe a little too fast, because someone scolds him to slow down. He calls out a quick, “Thanks for the meal!”, and rushes out.</p><p> </p><p>His room’s aura is still comforting, so Riku jumps onto his bed and burrows into a blanket. The windows get cracked open a bit too, so his windchimes will play. Touma...Time to figure all this out.</p><p>Am….I….gay..test. Riku’s fingers flit across the screen. Maybe this will help? Alright, question one…”What's your sexuality.” That one gets skipped. Question two: “Are you romantically attracted to the same gender?” Agh, what the heck! If Riku knew that he wouldn’t be here in the first place! He decides to try another one. Oh, this one is on a scale, that sounds better.</p><p>“In the past two weeks, how often have you fantasized about non-sexual closeness with women?” Riku blushes. Um, yeah. Probably often. God this was embarrassing.</p><p>“In the past two weeks, how often have you fantasized about non-sexual closeness with men?” Uh… that one is a bit tougher. But, like, if Riku thinks about...sometimes? Like, if his friends wanted to like cuddle or kiss, as friends, that sounded fine. But that was normal, right? They were all just really comfortable with each other.</p><p>“...Fantasized about sexual intercourse with a man--” Riku bit his tongue. Um, nope. Not that one. The next question was the same, but with a woman. Riku almost squeaks in embarrassment and quickly presses “sometimes”.</p><p>When he finishes the test, his results are mostly close to women, but a little towards men. The results say, “bisexual.” Isn’t that the thing where...He googles it. Oh. You can like boys and girls. And other stuff. Like...both. Riku had always been somewhat aware that was a thing, but never really registered it, he guessed…?</p><p>Bisexual. Huh. He decided to do one more search. “Is it normal to want to kiss your same gender friends…” All the results were from forums, the question being answered with, “Who’s gonna tell them.” Riku wasn’t sure what that meant but he guess it probably meant it wasn't a normal straight guy thing. Touma… Maybe… Riku didn’t totally know if he knew, yet. But he did want to maybe, see what happened if they tried? Or at the very least, like, talk to Touma. Otherwise things would be really awkward…Riku opened up his phone.<br/><br/></p><p>
  <span class="u"> ☆’.･.･:★’.･.･:☆ RABBITCHAT☆’.･.･:★’.･.･:☆ </span>
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  <b>TOUMA!!(o^▽^o)</b>
</p><p>Thanks for hanging out with me today touma!! I had a lot of fun!!</p><p><strong>T: </strong>Uh, yeah. Me too.</p><p> </p><p><strong>T</strong>: Thanks.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>read 3/9/19</em>
</p><p><strong>Today</strong> at 10:07 AM</p><p>Hey, Touma.... Are you able to talk right now?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>how do you embed an imagine i have no idea if this is gonna work BUT <a href="https://hips.hearstapps.com/hearst-gopher.thumbs.s3.amazonaws.com/images/coffee-stop-motion-001-1554835744.jpg">this is my coffee ref</a>, i think riku would be E3/E4, and iori is like. C2 but whenever he gets coffee around the others hes like I'll Have It Black Please and just chugs it because apparently liking milk isnt cool and sharp (i love him) but mitsuki is like. weenie and gives him coffee he actually likes </p><p>ALSO this is the <a href="https://www.idrlabs.com/sexual-orientation/test.php">sexuality test</a> i had riku take if anyone wants it for fun<br/>guys how do i make the rabbitchat part formatted right everything hurts</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>HI UM HI thank u for reading all the way down!!!!!!!! also!! i usually try to avoid honorifics in english fics but i left some in that i felt didn’t have an english equivalent that wasn’t clunky!! so that’s why it’s a mix ^__^</p><p> hmu on  <a>twitter</a> if u ever wanna talk about idolish7!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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